wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
