i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
