Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
