Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
