i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
