I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
