She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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