super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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