you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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