thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
