Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
