My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
