So drunk its hurt
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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