They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
