you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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