What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Even the bartender felt bad for me
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
