just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
