Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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