Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
