her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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