I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
