I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You're a waste of cheezeits
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
