Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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