This house was built for laser tag.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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