it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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