I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
