You smell like a Billy Joel song
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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