I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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