I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just pee around me
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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