Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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