listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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