We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
