what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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