is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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