You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
