Don't make out with my wife yet
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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