Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
