That's intense
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
