i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
