Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
