just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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