This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
