Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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