I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
