Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
