i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
This is the high leading the old right now
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
