let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
