Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
