The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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