You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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