Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
