I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
