i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize
