I'm really into asian looking animals
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
