I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
