NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize