I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
