So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
A bitchslap is in order.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
