dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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