Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
