butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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