i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
