Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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